Gaslighting and the tyranny of rationalized-racism

I had a terrible experience on twitter today, I decided to cope with it and to write something… #SpoilerAlert, it’s not about tech or management!


I’ll spare you the details, how I grew up hoping to be white and why, or the things I heard from people and how it came from racists, but also progressive people(i was once told, “I thought you’re a pimp until you started talking” as a positive thing)… I mean I have stories, but I want to focus on something else

I’ll happily skip all the occasions of racial comments I heard that left me in tears, I want to focus on one thing…

So, what is it about?

I want to talk about what I call today (no idea how it’s called really) rationalized-racism, it’s basically a tool used to use a broken rationale, to share opinions that in a world without context and history they work, but don’t in reality, and ignore them (while playing a “cool” card).

Why would they do that you ask?

The tactic to find a broken rationalization and play it to get the marginalized person to lose their temper and then mic drop and declare victory.

It’s been a tactic I’ve seen too much in my life, as a brown man, as a queer man, and as a Jew.

I’m sure women have seen it too, it’s a shameful #Gaslighting tactics white men use too much and it’s strong in their arsenal!

The usage is so simple, is repeating over and over again, that if everything is fine, then there is no problem! and call you a racist if you point out race yourself, they ignore context and history and demand that you will give them info, but they will continue to ignore it and push your buttons (by calling you names) and of course, if you break, they win

Why am I writing this then?

I’m here basically asking us all to pay attention, to see how marginalized groups can’t even lose their tempers – it weighs heavy on us to always be in control and it’s used against all of us when one of us fail!

It’s also easy to see those things and ignore them, but we need allies! White men, I’m talking to you here!

we need your help (sadly we’re still living in a world where white men listen to white men and you can say things we can’t, we lose for our race/gender when we break).

I get it, someone is trolling another person online, what’s new, right?

Wrong! We carry #history and #pain! Keeping composed is our burden now!

I’m legit tired after 35 years, I’m EXHAUSTED!!!!!

One thought on “Gaslighting and the tyranny of rationalized-racism

  1. Hey man,
    So sorry you had to go through that bullshit.
    You are appreciated and a cool person.
    I hope you move on and you don’t have to deal with morons again.

    PS: Rationalised racism is a thing, it sucks, and it must be squashed out when it pops up. The only answer I can think of it “rationalised naivety”: why did you say that? why do you think that? repeated until the offender has to admit who they are.


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